Crippled or Crutch

At what point do you start holding a person responsible for their "own" actions?

In this day and age we are so quick to claim, "I'm like this because of my past" (myself included)

Allowing people to make EXCUSE for the negative decisions and behaviors they have..

Almost giving them a unspoken "get out of jail free card" to do almost any and everything..

At what point is your past CRIPPLING you or CRUTCHING you?

I'm going to say something not many people are courageous enough to say..

There is a point in each and everyone of our lives…

Where we are going to go thru something that may be just one or a combination of an emotional , physical or spiritual challenge. 

Wether it be neglect, physical or mental abuse, letdown, rejection, or just growing up with the stressors of dealing with a single parent home. 

I recognize the fact that a lot of these things happen to us at the most impressionable and youthful times in our life…

But now as ADULTS at what point do you DECIDE to not let your past CONTROL your present and future? 

To not allow your PAST to influence into your life NEGATIVE behavior and destructive tendencies...

I am a firm believer that:

Once your old enough to understand RIGHT from WRONG, and old enough to PATTERN your OWN actions.

THEN you are old enough to not allow your past to effect the present and future. 

If you are conscious enough to recognize that you have an ISSSUE with your past, then you are conscious enough to go seek help.

To go make right what is broken within you (if at all possible)... 

There comes a point where you are deciding to hold on to what hurts you, rather then face it and move on. 

It becomes an excuse, not a reason. 

"He/She had a troubled past"

Has become such a common phrase amongst Lawyers and News Caster when speaking on some of the heinous crimes that occur throughout our communities.

But beyond crimes….

We as a people use this to explain the reasons behind ALMOST EVERYTHING!!!

I don't talk BECAUSE OF MY PAST

I'm afraid of relationships BECAUSE OF MY PAST

I hit women BECAUSE OF MY PAST

BECAUSE OF MY PAST… BECAUSE OF MY PAST.. BECAUSE OF MY PAST… 

We all have something that we currently do that is negative BECAUSE OF OUR PAST.

Stop making excuses for yourselves!

Face your problems head on…

And we as a people need to not allow individuals to not take PERSONAL responsibility for themselves!

If you recognize that your past hurt you, seek help!

So that you, them nor I don't have to be…

 "CRIPPLED or CRUTCHED"

WOMANHOOD

I want to first bring to your attention that I myself am far from perfect…

BUT, It has become alarmingly evident that there is a major disconnect…

I hate to rain on some of you guys parades, but you may want to grab an umbrella or a poncho before reading this…

**pause to allow you time to prepare for this storm**

My aim here is not to hurt feeling or even start a GREAT DEBATE…

Ssssssoooooo without any further postponement…

I have been noticing a trend of "WOMEN" and I use the term "WOMEN" very loosely…

That have been saying things like: 

"Chivalry is dead"

"Where are the REAL men?"  

"I want a REAL nigga" (this one is hilarious) 

"Men don't do the things they used too anymore"

All these things in MY OPINION are funny…

Ladies… honestly… I'm going to be completely candid here…..

MOST OF YOU don't deserve a "good man", "chivalrous man" nor a "gentleman"

WHY?!?! You all may be asking….

Because you aren't a "good woman"!!!!!

Why do you think you deserve something you yourself are NOT!!!!

You want a man with all these great characteristics, traits, and behaviors that you don't even possess!

In the days of old, where men were more chivalrous and respectful.

SO WERE WOMEN!

To court a woman was a special thing because you truly were investing in an ASSET…

A woman that most importantly RESPECTED THEMSELVES and their BODY first and foremost and even more importantly had a ACTIVE relationship with GOD…

A woman that possessed a certain set of TRADITIONAL skills and values that completed, fulfilled, supplemented and CONSUMMATED what the MAN was…

(EX.) Cooking, Cleaning, raising a child, washing clothes, knitting/sewing as well as being the secretary of the house, and a mans confidant.

These days if a man finds a woman, he has found: (Hopefully) a pretty face, a nice body (which most of you barely maintain), someone to have sex with (don't even get me started), and an ATTITUDE (that was created because of another mans failures, or an over elevated self worth)

These days you meet a woman if she can cook (BARELY), then she can't clean, AND I can't remember the last time i met a woman with ANY seamstress abilities...

Without the traditional roles of women, our forming and expanding societies would have surely collapsed.

Often these days women take offense at times when a man says "RAISING CHILDREN", but it honestly should never be taken offensively…

Why, because WOMEN are nurturing by their very nature! WHO CAN DENY THAT?

I do subsequently believe a man has an VERY important role in FATHERING a child… 

Now in no way shape or form am I an advocate of the "bare foot and pregnant" thought processes of the past!!!!!

I enjoy the progression that women have made and respect the advantages of the "INDEPENDENT WOMAN"….

But!!!!

You want to know what the 2 MOST major difference between those days and these days are.

The first being, in past times women would go above and beyond to ensure that their man felt SPECIAL, or  IMPORTANT…

What happened to that?

Some where along the way women forgot how to make their man feel wanted….

Women would like a man to bring her flowers, buy her cards randomly, bears, take her shopping, just about anything to "EXPRESS" in a way other then just through words you care for them…

MEN NEED THAT SAME TYPE OF ATTENTION!

We may not want it expressed in the same way…

But we desire for a woman to express they appreciate the things we do for them…

So ladies figure out what your man likes and show him!

People have become so lazy in relationships!

Approaching relationships like it's some sort of "great honor" to just be with them.

I'm sorry but…

YOUR NOT THAT GREAT.

Humble yourselves!!!

If you are in a proper relationship it is just as much a blessing to you to have them, as you are a blessing to them…

Some women  have lost sight of showing gratitude to their mates through simple gestures…

Secondly, what has happened to women's relationship with God?!?!?!

We have become so similar to "Sodom and Gomorra" it's actually repulsive…

I find myself on the different social media platforms and observe how almost demonic and crazy women seem these days.

Openly talking about sleeping with random men, cursing more then any sailor i know, self gratifying, lewd, openly talking about their sexual organs in ways women of our past would NEVER HAVE DONE, and destructive…

And whats so sickening is the GREATER the distance these woman are from moral, the more the world follows behind them.

Women will wake in the morning and praise and give honor to God, then moments later be posting ignorance…

The very first thing a lot of you need to find is HUMILITY..

What happened to gratitude?

What happened to when a man was chivalrous and the woman would show gratitude to him being so…

In this day and age if a man does open a door for a young lady she just STROLLS right in without a thank you or even recognizing the fact that he took a few seconds out of his day to offer her a convenience… (should have slammed it in your FACE!!!)

Women have become so STRONG they have forgot to show appreciation for the chivalrous things a man does, mostly because so many have adopted the concept:

"I DON'T NEED A MAN FOR ANYTHING, I CAN DO IT FOR MYSELF"

And thats all well and good…

But just like women have the innate ability to NURTURE men are born with the same innate ability to be NEEDED so they can in turn supply. 

Thus the reason while CHIVALRY even existed in the first place!!!!!

Do you know where CHIVALRY came from? (RESEARCH IT)

It was a medieval KNIGHTLY system with religious, moral, and social code.

Which is where the saying "looking for their KNIGHT in shining armor" came from!

Women have always had the ability to open their own doors, pull out their own chairs, pump their own gas and walk around puddles.

It's about being appreciative enough to realize that a man recognizes your strength, but still desires to go out of his way to make the simple things even easier for you...

When you take away a mans "ABILITY" to supply "NEEDS", you EMASCULATE him.

emasculate |iˈmaskyəˌlāt|verb [ with obj. ]make (a person, idea, or piece of legislation) weaker or less effective
• (usu. as adj. emasculated) deprive (a man) of his male role or identity

No man can love a woman that openly attempts to take his manhood from him...

Once that line is crossed you lose us...

In this world of educated women…

You ladies are really making some very uneducated decisions!

Women have created this imaginary balance of negative and positive traits they want in a man.

It's like they want a man to disrespect them respectfully.. (O_o)

They want a:

1.  Thug with good manners 
2. A gentleman with a dark side
3. a man that looks like he would beat the brakes off her but never touches her
4. an educated man that talks like he has no sense

Us men don't know how to keep up with this imaginary Balance of two entirely different worlds!!!!

They say they want a good man with their mouths, but  with actions are continuously picking men with horrible characteristics!

What so saddening, is a man with good characteristics, respectful, virtuous and honorable...

Is looked at NEGATIVELY!

what type of sick twisted world do we live in, where man with good characteristics are looked at in a derogatory manner?

You are called:

"Soft"

"lame"

Are are we drawn that far from reality where negativity has become a positive and positivety he has become a negative?

You either get one or the other!!!

not both worlds!!!

Women are so confused into what they want, they are confusing us!

How are we to be exactly what you want if you don't even know exactly what you want?

Communication and conflict resolution!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i could write an entire BOOK on this section…

Women learn how to convey ideas and not emotion…

you get so consumed in the feeling, the actual problem falls to the wayside…

Now i understand your emotional beings…

but learn to TALK THRU your issues, not ACT THRU them…

There is a huge misconception that whining is communication.

Whining doesn't solve issues… 

True communication solves problems.

True communication comes to agreements and compromises...

True communication is not demeaning our destructive, it's constructive.

Just because you frequently open your mouth and words come out, doesn't mean your communicating...

The most important part of communication that you ladies are missing... LISTENING!

I mean honestly listening and taking heed to our concerns and request...

Most men will tell you that we don't talk not because we don't have anything to say, but because we feel we say falls on deaf ears.

So we would rather say nothing, then waste our time telling you how we feel and you not listen.

And men hate it when we tell you EXACTLY how we feel and you try to tell us how we feel right after we just told you how we feel!

Why ask questions if your not going to believe US!

Next once we have moved past something…

STOP bringing it back up!!!!

STOP revisiting it!!!

STOP throwing it back up in our faces.

Lastly!

If we take the time to tell you how we feel…

Don't take this opportunity to turn it into an argument!

Communication and sharing his feelings is a vulnerable spot for men!

So when we are being vulnerable to you, don't catch an attitude and start an argument over how we may feel!

That makes us not want to be open with you anymore…

Learn to be RECEPTIVE!!!

This is why we don't like to share anything with you ladies…

Ladies the attitudes…

Are cute at first, but sometime you take it too damn far…

The unnecessary smart comments!

Being destructive with your words…

Learn to APOLOGIZE when you do something wrong!!!

An apology goes a long way…

It helps us recognize that you recognize you did something wrong to us and you are actually CARE enough to say your sorry!!!!

A simple "Baby I'm sorry" means the world to your man…

And I can almost guarantee you that he will respond with "Oh baby it's fine" but deep down inside that simple gesture puts him at piece…

Because some women like to act like they are faultless, like they do no wrong.

And that is highly irritating!!!

Lastly here, women you desire us to pursue you….

And that's all fine and well…

But some have pursuit confused with an all out triathlon…

a union should be created though mutual work and effort!

No one person should be putting in more then their share of work….

When you make a man jump thru hoops and don't jump thru a few yourselves your making for an unequally yolked relationship…

which is going to bound to fail, because someone is going to get tired of feeling as though they are working by themselves!

So the moral of the story here....

You want a good man?

You get what you deserve...

Elevate yourself... And the men around you, will elevate themselves....

You want to know why?

Because rather you realize it or not men may be the stronger, dominant of the species...

But WOMEN DICTATE WHAT HAPPENS IN RELATIONSHIPS...

THE POWER OF THE P U S S Y is strong beyond measure.

A man will elevate himself to keep a woman in his life.

So I implore you to elevate yourselves ladies... Your standards will create better men in this world...